Being single is not anything to be ashamed about in our age! We live in a time when most relationships break up and there is no guarantee that even the best ones will last. In the meantime, there is much to enjoy in life, and singleness has a great many benefits that those couples you envy would give an arm or a leg for!
Take charge of your reality and give up all that envy! Stop worrying about everyone else around you getting into relationships, and thinking that you need to as well. All those happy couples in movies and TV shows are the fabrications of Hollywood writers designed to sell tickets and get high TV ratings. Real couples have messy lives—they fight, leave the bathroom dirty and steal the remote from each other. Give up those unrealistic fantasies of your ‘Soulmate’, and notice how most people around you are just regular folk – good people, but not magical heroes who fix each others’ lives.
Focus on becoming the best person you can be.
Take classes, work out, grow a garden, do volunteer work, go to therapy, do whatever your heart desires. Remember that everything you do should be for you! High self confidence will attract more friends and maybe in the long run even a little romance. (Once you become the person you like, though, you may be less willing to compromise what’s important for romance.)
- Concentrate on yourself and figure out what you like and don’t like. Make plans with friends that you haven’t seen in a while. Take a nice, hot bath. Read a book, or walk the dog. Take time for yourself, and don’t sweat finding someone. You can’t go on looking for love, love has to find you.
Indulge yourself. Go out and get your nails done, have a spa day or get a massage. Just because you don’t have someone to impress or please doesn’t mean you should stop pleasing yourself. You are a strong, independent person who deserves the best. So give it to yourself!
Realize that you are still blessed and fortunate. Many people around the world are either: chronically ill, homeless, living in poverty, starving, fleeing from warfare, and have no personal freedoms due to dictatorships. If you think you are not lucky because you are single, think again!. People in those aforementioned conditions have it harder than you! (However, if you unable to feel happy in spite of recognizing your luck, you may need to meet with a counselor to discuss the possibility that you have clinical depression or a similar illness)
Take up a new hobby! Learn guitar, join a tap class, grow a garden, write a novel, cook some gourmet meals! Whatever you’ve ever wanted to do, do it now. Trying something new can lead to new skills, friendships, and self esteem.
Look in the mirror. Say things that you like about yourself. Repeat phrases to yourself such as “I am a strong, and beautiful individual” and tell your reflection that you love you. You need to know that you cannot expect others to make you happy. You are the only person who can make you happy in the end.
Become an optimist. This is a trait that helps you whether you are single, married, divorced or widowed! Keep a gratitude diary and every night think of 3 things you are grateful for. Find the silver lining in everything throughout your day, and savor little pleasures. You’ll live longer, make it through tough times more smoothly, and even avoid the common cold more often!
Keep these tips in mind:
Notice the support that you have by others and don’t think it is just you against the world, your friends may be the ones that understand how you feel the most.
Don’t sit around thinking what you don’t have. Instead, be happy that you have friends, family, good health.
Value the things that you have, such as your creativity, your intelligence, your friends or your pet(s) as well as your newly-found independence.
You don’t need to fake and plaster on smiles all the time if you’re not truly happy. Be yourself. If it’s a recent break-up it’s ok to be sad… but only for a period of time that’s proportionate to the length/intensity of the ended relationship. Any longer, is just not being fair to yourself or others.
Say to yourself you are worthy of being loved, particularly by yourself. Loving yourself is both accepting who you are now and knowing there are always things you can do to make you even more awesome than you are now. Truly loving yourself also means it is harder for others to hurt you. Rejection won’t sting as much, after all they couldn’t possibly love you more than you do.
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